OWNERSHIP Pt. II: "Own" The Night

As promised we are continuing our conversation about Ownership.  I gave an offering for the daytime, now here comes the night!  Of course, by nightfall, we are all mostly tired and worn out. We have dealt with bosses, co-workers, children, husbands, friends, enemies and everything else walking on two feet.  By the time it's time to lay down and go to sleep, most of are either too tired to go to sleep, to worried to sleep, ruminating over the day that's now past or impending the doom of the next day. Indeed it feels like there is no rest for the weary!

Once again, we return to the sacred domain and power of the Mind, our thoughts. We know that somehow we must stop thinking and rest our minds in order for us to sleep. The night feels much heavier than the morning when we can invent our day and create expectations for ourselves. At night, we are left with the realities of what happened that day.   Let's be honest "there is no easy way out."  We must  make a strong, determined effort to go to sleep.

One practice that I use to battle anxiety, agony and self-abuse during both the day and at night is to reconcile my day. It is reviewing, in a positive light,  "what I actually accomplished" that day.  Most often, we don't take the time to look at what we actually DID. Instead we look at what we DID NOT do, and wind up berating ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves.  I've discovered that when I do my review, (which could start at anytime during the day when you are feeling overwhelmed), I realize that I have done a whole lot in one day. It's usually more than I thought and it definitely lifts my Spirit up! 

You must count carefully though, because sometimes it's not just a report that you did at work. It's the warm, encouraging words that you gave a co-worker, or perhaps an ear; you just listened to them as if they were the most important person in the world.  Maybe you did something inspirational for yourself at lunch time, you went into a bookstore, you looked at trees, enjoyed the sunshine, or took a moment to feel gratitude.  Or maybe you took care of some important business. Once you got home, maybe you stopped your child from feeling overwhelmed about school, or empathized with your husband concerning job issues.  These things count! They truly constitute the fabric of life. So, do your inventory toward the end of your day. Perhaps the best time would be after you've settled in a while and before you are so tired that you just want to dive into your bed.

The final suggestion that I will give for now is one that has most profoundly served me my entire adult life.  This wisdom came from my beloved Mother and became indelibly etched into my Spirit.  I had just graduated from Atlanta University with my Masters Degree and was five months pregnant.  I was back in Brooklyn, living at home with my mother in the Marcy Projects where I grew up. I was totally upset with the fact that I was back there. I felt like a failure.  I wanted to stay in Washington, DC where I had been living after graduation but it wasn't working out. 

On this particular evening, I was crying and complaining to my mom about my life. I was in it deep, comparing myself to my friends, who all seemed to be single, educated, having fun and without children.  I was having a grand old pity party!  My mom spoke words to me that day, that pierced my Soul. She interrupted my pity party and told me that what I should do whenever I was in such a place (emotionally) was to "count my Blessings." I mean literally. To begin to recall and say out loud or to myself, every Blessing.  That night,  I felt the ancestors on my shoulders. I saw my Mom's entire generation, sharecroppers from down South who worked in the cotton fields. They counted their Blessings, in spite of! That was it for me. I was done.

Counting, recognizing and honoring, my Blessings has been my best remedy for every battle of negativity that the enemy tries to cast upon me.  I simply focus my heart and mind on the innumerable Blessings of God in my life. Praying helps too. Obiously there are innumerable other "techniques" of quieting down to sleep. As for me, I don't count sheep, I count my Blessings!