Can You Handle It? Full-Fill-Meant!

This was my first blog entry this year. Thought I published it but I didn't, so here goes!  The next entry is in the can, up to date! Out next week!

Happy 2019! Wow...This is my first post in this New Year. I was really getting into a flow of writing the blog weekly, when a most "divine interruption" came.  I have to admit that at first, I felt a little upset wondering how this was going to look to people. I had disappeared again.  I had just recently made a personal vow to develop consistency with my blog; every week, without fail, and here I go again!

Well...I checked my last entry and it was at the end of November. But let me tell you this, it was for "gooood" reason!  Although I haven't written, I sure have been having "consistent" thoughts about where to begin and what to share with you about what has been going on in my life. I share with you from my life; not about "it" (like gossip). I focus upon the principles of Life that I happen upon, particularly those that show up in my Spirit.

So, I'll do my best to share a bit of my thoughts about what went on, because it was such a "new" experience for me that I want to translate it well. For now,  I will share it in a nutshell, and then draw on it over time.

So, the word that came to me to describe it best is "fulfillment".  Every year when the new year comes in, my Pastor usually gives a prophetic word to us (ARB of CCC).  His word for us this year is "Divine providence."  What I have been experiencing falls under this great umbrella. I am certainly tied into this.  The specific word for my life however, has been fulfillment.  

This year, on my birthday, 10/10, I declared a new beginning. I took a week of retreat and reflection to set goals for my life, specifically in terms of my everyday living.  I clocked my daily life out from sun up to sun down on a weekly basis.  I felt really good about it and committed myself to follow it completely. Mind you, writing this blog was a part of it. 

Well, a set of events occurred beginning in December, which was truly " a Divine interruption."  Within record time within my entire life, I began to receive the Blessings to recreate my home environment, entirely.  It began with a broken stove, which I was trying to get fixed. This led to a new stove, a new range hood, a new kitchen sink, a "light" new color, the most beautiful designer tiling throughout the kitchen, and new marble like kitchen counters throughout.  And... that was just beginning. The process rolled through like dominoes. Godly dominoes I'd say, because personally I see this as "The Hand of God."  That is a theme that I will definitely be dealing with in the near future.

How many of you know that going up a new level, re-inventing, or re-creating anything (including yourself), involves a good dose of time, money and energy? It usually (always) involves more than you expect.  A thought came to me as I was going through the process. I had to make a decision. Either I was going to receive the Blessings by stretching my arms wider to receive more, or allow fear to step in by trying to "control things"; thereby "blocking" or "hindering" my Blessings.  Guess which one I chose? I told my friends I was going from "33" to "78" (if you're old enough to recognize them as record speeds).  

During the unfolding of this tempest of Blessings, I reflected quite a bit. I had never had such a dramatic change so quickly  toward the things I had asked (prayed) for in my life; manifestation! This was the future that I had imagined walking into. The word "fulfillment" was confirmed to me several times.  During this process I realized that I held a doubtful and limiting perspective on fulfillment (and I suspect many of you may suffer from this as well).  I heard my inner thoughts saying things like, "people don't get fulfillment while they are living" that will probably come when you die.  Fulfillment is impossible to achieve.  If I claim "fulfillment" it's like saying, "I've arrived" and that I have no place else to go, nothing else to seek, no goals to plan.  I recognized that I had become attached to "striving for" and "working toward" things and never truly believing I'd have it! I didn't really believe in fulfillment. I even saw that perhaps because of our experience as Black people in America, we have evolved this mindset of always striving for things and half believing that we will actually achieve the things that we desire.

Well.... it is not true.  We can have fulfillment in our lives! Just like "happiness" it is available to us.  No one is "always" happy or "always fulfilled", but it is a state of mind. Both are real. Both are achievable.  

So...in 2019, I am resonating in the space of Fulfillment. My discourse, is not about acquiring material things. They really don't mean anything to me, in and of themselves. But I know that I have a purpose that calls me to share something that God has placed within me. In alignment with that calling, He is bringing the integrity into my life that would allow me to represent that calling more fully.  He brings "fulfillment" in.  And guess what... he uses "people" to do it.  That's another message, for another time.

For now, I will symbolically "lift my hands toward you" and Bless you to know that "fulfillment" is attainable in your life. It is about a lifestyle. Press toward it, open your arms wide to receive it, and do your part to attract it to yourself.  Can you stand being filled, fully? Or will you settle for just a little bit?

Loving I Am,
QueenNE
Nubian NYC