A Slap in The Face or A Timely Check?

There's a name, that if someone calls you it, it feels like a slap in the face. And no, it is not profanity. The name is "victim". I am definitely not talking about a "true" victim of some heinous act, God forbid. I am talking about when someone accuses you of being "a victim" or acting like "a victim" regarding how you are handling a situation in your life or handling your life itself. Most of the time we become indignant when this happens. Being a victim definitely translates into the idea of being weak and powerless. Nobody likes that.

It would not be a stranger who says this to you. Perhaps that is why it tends to offend us more. Usually it is a friend or loved one, who has been an outside observer, who more than likely loves you and wants to see you take control over a situation or in your life in general. Regardless of their intention or desire for your good, it probably angers you more than it seems helpful.  Because, real talk, most of the time we really don't like looking at the negative sides of ourselves. Today we have this convenient defense called, "don't judge me." This allows us to easily fend off anyone daring to step to us regarding any aspect of our lives. We human beings tend to look mostly at how good we are. We become defensive and angry when someone has the audacity to call us out on how we are living, no less calling us a victim. Well, let's get out one of my favorite tools from grade school science class out today, "the microscope." Let us all examine ourselves for ourselves "under the microscope." No judgment, nobody's business but yours.  Just be honest with yourself. Reflect on some questions.

When you wake up in the morning do you take time to center yourself, to say "Hello" to God or "Thank You" for the day? Do you reflect and prepare mentally for the day ahead of you? Or, jump up out of the bed and go on automatic pilot into your daily routine? Do you empower your day by having self talk that sets your day according to how you will have it go? (not want it to go), that is regardless of circumstances, people and unexpected events? Perhaps you use affirmations, prayer, meditation, music, or devotion.

Do you have goals or plans for your life? Or do you just have hopes and dreams? Do you have your goals or plans written down? Have you ever created a Vision Board of them so that you can see them? Do you share your goals and plans often with others (say them out loud)? Do you have a community around you that respects, appreciates, supports and encourages you in achieving your personal life goals? Or, do you have a community of naysayers, negative and complaining folks around you, who enjoy bursting your bubble?  How much time to you invest daily, weekly, monthly toward your goals? What do you do to have them realized?

Does life seem to be dragging you around from crisis to crisis, circumstance to circumstance, situation to situation? Are you so... tired of it all? Do you throw your hands up and say what's the use? Do you feel hopeless and powerless to make things happen differently in your life? Are you resigned; just making it one day at a time and living for the weekend escape (TGIF life)? Think about how you describe your life to others in your daily course. Are you just getting by, existing and not really living? Are you feeling dry, uninspired, or worn out by life? I think that's enough, you get the picture.

If within your heart of hearts you find yourself here, then perhaps you have been victimized. Perhaps you have unwittingly co-signed to a "victim status". I'm pretty sure that more than likely, this is NOT by any means, on purpose.  For most of us, the erosion of the quality of our lives occurs gradually, subtly and almost invisibly. The settling, getting comfortable with things, the lost of energy required to turn things around seems to occur without detection.

One thing that I agree with is the principle that "the quality of our thoughts, determine the quality of our lives" (Pastor ARB).  Every day that we are granted (gifted) with life, we have the possibility and ability to make it different and better; to change things. I am suggesting that you to do a self-examination. Evaluate the quality of your life and, your role in it.  Take some time to ruminate over your goals, aspirations and desires.  See for yourself where you are and decide where you are going? Don't rush it. Allow yourself the week for contemplation. Make notes, write things down. At the end of your personal inquiry, you get to decide if you are living as a Victim or as a Victor. 

Hopefully you are living victoriously in your Life and winning! But, if you want more, if you want a better quality of life, or if are not satisfied with your current situation, then you can definitely begin by taking "one small step". What I can promise you is that if you do nothing, nothing will change and... that may be fine with you. If not, you can start with "one thing", one area that you will create a new habit or practice in.  You can build continually from that starting point and in time, you will be surprised at the new creation that you have made of your life. At the end of the day, YOU are the only judge and only YOU can do it! Be encouraged.

Lovingly I Am,
QueenNE