Beauty Speaks & LISTENS

Recently I was sharing something with a friend and I began to "hear her listening".  It caused me to stop talking.  As I was processing what happened it made me think about LISTENING.  The ability to hear is a gift from God.  As one of our primary senses, we often take for granted the privileged listening that we enjoy; music, children playing, the wind, each other voices, and so much more. Obviously, one important part of appreciating this gift comes through our relationships; basically, when we speak to one another.

I excused myself from the above mentioned conversation partly because I felt my friend was getting caught up on the peripheral details of my story.  I find that this is pretty common these days.  Most people are not listening because they have too many questions to ask (while you are talking to them).  This could be either because they are intent on listening and they want to make sure they understand you or more often than not, it's because that's what people habitually do; just ask questions.  In many cases, I am sorry to say, it is not for want of a better understanding.  

Another aspect of this is "hearing but not listening".  Even Jesus spoke about this, how people have ears and do not hear and eyes and do not see.  If you have the ability to hear, it takes very little to hear what a person is saying.  But listening...well...that's another story.  Listening also comes in levels and depths.  If someone is talking to you and you are in your own head, judging and making opinions about what they are saying, while they are still yet talking to you...guess what?  YOU ARE NOT LISTENING!  Listening to another at the very least involves clearing your mind, thoughts and lines of reasoning or at least suspending them long enough to hear what someone is really  saying to you.

In the end the question becomes, what are you listening for?  I came up with this distinction.  Either you are listening for celebration or cursing?  congratulating or condemning?  When you are a "condemner" you basically cannot wait for the person to stop talking so that you can inject things like, "how could you have done that" "why did you do that" "you shouldn't have done that"  "how could you have been so stupid"  "that would not have happened if" ...ad nauseum.  In these kind of scenarios, every time the speaker gets a clearing to continue, the condemner is either whispering or shouting  their negative opinions.  They are definitely not offering any hope or real solutions.  They choose to be stuck on what you have done wrong and how you should not  have gotten yourself in the situation or had the experience.  Celebrators and congratulators on the other hand, listen intently  They  allow you to complete your thoughts without major interruptions...and in the end they encourage you, support you, empathize with you.  They may even disagree with you, but it's in a Spirit of Love.  Perhaps they just nod their head and say uh hum!  Whatever their judgments or opinions may be, they are not in the conversation there for themselves.  They are in it for you and with you.

How does this relate to what I am stand for, Beauty....a beautiful lifestyle?  When a person is really listened to, it creates a space of beauty or a beautiful space if you prefer.  They  feel acknowledged, you feel good because you  have contributed, everyone feels whole and complete, and moves on with their lives with ease.  When you are condemned and not really listened to, you leave the conversation feeling incomplete, pooped on, or having lots of afterthoughts about what you should have said or did, or are stuck  trying to understand why (your friend) said what they said.  

Listening is a privilege that friends should not use against each other  I say this because in most cases it is a "friend" that you share with and who "offers" their response.  Yes it is an Offering.  Sort of like when you give one in church.  Even God loves and wants a cheerful giver.

If you intend on having a beautiful lifestyle and even moreso, being a beautiful person, this is a quality in  the tapestry of it.  The seemingly small but powerful truth of how we see, speak and listen  to another makes all the difference in the world on the quality and beauty of our lives.

I love you and as always...Stay BeYouTFull!