Requiem For A Natural Hair Icon,,,

Requiem For A Natural Hair Icon: Our Sister

Since learning of the death of Titi Branch, the co-founder of Miss Jessie's hair care products, a "Natural Hair Icon" in my book, there has been a heaviness dwelling in my heart and Spirit.  It has compelled me to write this "letter".  This occurrence I call a "selah" moment (from The Bible) meaning a "pause and reflect" moment.  

As a Master Pioneer in the natural hair industry who has contributed to paving the way for "natural hair" Love, my first thoughts beyond the pure sadness in my heart was, "be careful what you ask for". For although I have been in the Natural Hair industry creating phenomenal products and events for the past 30 years,  I never got the BIG DEAL like Carol's Daughter or Miss Jessie's. Many of my customers, friends and loved ones (like myself)   felt  that I / New Bein' was deserving of it.  Facts...it didn't happen.

I thought about my casual following of these beautiful sisters, who were entering as I was bowing out of participating in the emerging large commercial "natural hair shows".  I watched their business grow in leaps and bounds from the bleachers. I was happy for them and yet (truthfully) I also had some mixed competitive and entrepreneurial feelings. I questioned the development and success of my own business; New Bein'. On a human and emotional level, I too harbored within the intense desire for growth and wealth.

In this "selah" moment however, something else showed up. I quickly realized from this grave tragedy, that "all that glitters ain't gold" and recognized the fallacy of the "grass is greener on the other side" philosophy. Immediately, subconsciously something kicked in. I began a sustaining practice that I learned from my Mother and generations before me of "counting my blessings". I again became grateful that I have been consciously cultivating another kind of wealth in my life. A wealth of Spirit and character. A wealth that lets me know that I am loved and blessed; grateful that I have my health, strength and "right mind"; even my Life! It allows me to treasure my family and loved ones and appreciate my beautiful home; a sanctuary for my soul. It makes me appreciate that I am not scarred, bitter, unforgiving or angry. The list could go on...

It also caused me to remember something very important that I learned about - the "God space";  that sacred place within every human being that only God can fill. No person, place or thing can ever fill or satisfy that divine void; it is a special, reserved place where only the Holy Spirit and God Almighty dwell and abide.

My next wave of thought came on a humanistic level.  This Sister "is" my Sister, my reflection, a divine soul and human being.  Her death was deemed a suicide by asphyxia. This to me is devastating and speaks volumes as to the depth of soul and spiritual disconnect that too many of "us" now experience and live with. Even as we have moved "at the speed of light" developing technologically, we are losing ground in leaps and bounds in the fundamental elements of communication and bonding.  We have become so disconnected from genuine caring, intimacy and communication with each other almost to the point of being frightfully self-centered and narcissistic.

God gave us all Free Will; the ability to choose. There is no blame to be placed on the personal choices that one makes.  What I know fundamentally is this: we were created as "social" beings and we all need "to be heard" - I mean profoundly listened to, to the point that the acknowledgement is reflected back to our Soul. Yes, we casually listen and respond to our friends, family and associates; but do we really take the time to really stop and hear them/ feel them? Do we look outside ourselves long enough and at those close around us deep enough, to provide a sacred space for them. A space where they feel that you fully understand and receive them; feel honored, cared about, safe, affirmed, loved and acknowledged.  Honestly, most of our communications have become so rehearsed and superficial that they would not even begin to reach the Soul of another.  Yes, it is in large part reflective of the times and world we are living in, but again...we can choose how we live.

In this auspicious time of year; where people leave here and many don't make it to the coming next year; where things come to completion intentionally or by default; where promises lurk and beckon one toward their goals, aspirations and dreams, let us open ourselves wide. In this season of new beginnings and renewal let us all look at committing to go deeper at least with one person in our personal world like never before.  Let us ACT like our lives and the lives of others depends on it!

Lovingly I AM,
QueenNE